04/07/2023
By Kate Stone Lombardi
When I tell people that my Mom is 99 years old, I get two kinds of responses.
The first is along these lines: “Bless her! You are so lucky to have her!”
This sentiment is always from people who do not have really, really old parents. In order not to be perceived as a horrible human being, I respond, “Oh yes. I’m so lucky.”
The second response goes like this:
“Oh my God! You must be exhausted!” Just this week, my dentist asked, “Do you still have your Mom?” and when I told him that I did, he said, “You must be drinking heavily!”
I love my dentist.
I also love my 99-year-old mother. I see her every week, talk to her every day, oversee her finances and serve as her health proxy.
Bette Davis famously said, “Old age ain’t no place for sissies.” She died when she was 80. Ninety nine is a whole different story. My poor Mom is struggling. Lots of things hurt and her body parts are failing. She’s legally blind, extremely hard of hearing and has trouble digesting food. Lately she’s been hearing an imaginary military band and a deep baritone voice singing every evening. But mostly she’s pretty sharp, listening to the news and audio books and fully aware of her physical decline.
Overall, it is a sad and stressful time. I keep dreaming that my teeth are falling out, landing in my hand like little bloody Chiclets. I consulted Chat Open AI (just as reliable as Dr. Google) and it tells me:
“Dreaming that your teeth are falling out is a common dream that many people experience. It can be a very disturbing and frightening dream, and it is often associated with feelings of anxiety, helplessness, or loss of control.”
Oh. What else is new?