For generations, mothers have gotten the same old message when it comes to raising sons: beware of keeping him “too close.” A mom who nurtures a deep emotional bond will prevent him from growing up to be a strong, independent man. By refusing to cut those apron strings, she is on track to create the archetypal, effeminate, maladjusted “mama’s boy.” There’s one problem with this theory: it’s just not true.
From the Oedipus myth (not to mention the complex Freud created around it) to the movie Psycho, our culture warns us about the dangers of mother-son closeness. No other parent-child combination is so stigmatized. We encourage mothers and daughters, as well as fathers and sons, to stay close throughout their adult lives. And a supportive father is considered essential to a daughter’s self-esteem. A dad can coach his daughter’s lacrosse team, wipe her tears and encourage her loftiest ambitions, all with smiling approval.