In 2017, I wrote an article for NextTribe about my son getting married. Paul and I had always been close. When he was younger, I’d even written a book about the mother/son bond. Would his upcoming marriage to his long-time sweetheart Afroz drive us apart, I wondered? Would I be losing my son?
I was confident in my prediction—we would stay close. Paul is a wonderful son, and I assumed he’d be a wonderful husband. Love was not a zero-sum game. It would be easy. Of course all this bravado belied a basic truth: I knew exactly nothing about being a mother-in-law.
When my story appeared, I was struck by the wide variety of comments, some of them describing heartbreaking estrangement between formerly close mothers and sons. A few wondered how it turned out after Paul was married. Well, the answer is: I’m still learning.
Back then, Paul and Afroz hadn’t even picked out a wedding venue. And as the wedding plans progressed, I started to understand my … I was about to write “diminished” role, but that’s not accurate. My “different” role is a better description.