11/19/2021
By Kate Stone Lombardi
I’m almost done listening to the first batch of audio books for awards season. As always, there are strong entries and weak ones. At this point, I have instituted a new rule for sorting finalists. If certain phrases come up, I am allowed to jettison the book.
So far these fall into in two categories.
Category One: Descriptions of women’s body parts:
-“Her heaving breasts.” (I possess a pair of breasts and I couldn’t heave them if I tried.)
-“Her milky-white breasts.” (I have a nursing daughter. The only time when milk and breasts should be connected.)
‘”Her soft but firm breasts” (Please explain.)
-“Her simmering heat” (If she’s not in menopause – and these characters are NOT – just … no.)
Category Two: Sky Descriptions
-“The sky was the color of a bruise.” (Is this something they teach in Creative Writing MFA programs? It’s everywhere.)
-“The sky was angry.” (How could you tell?)
-The sky was weeping. (If you mean it was raining, just say so.)
Please try to find other ways to create the emotional tenor of the story – stop anthropomorphizing the weather.
Yup, the curmudgeon is back, heaving her breasts in indignation as she gazes at the frustrated sky.
-“The sky was angry.” (How could you tell?)
-The sky was weeping. (If you mean it was raining, just say so.)
Please try to find other ways to create the emotional tenor of the story – stop anthropomorphizing the weather.
Yup, the curmudgeon is back, heaving her breasts in indignation as she gazes at the frustrated sky.