8/11/2023
By Kate Stone Lombardi
When did it become a thing to bring your mother to a house showing?
Our house has been on the market for three weeks, and I can’t tell you how many times buyers have brought their moms to the showings. Now, as some readers know, one of our bids fell apart because the mom got “a sign” that the house wasn’t right for her son and daughter-in-law. But she wasn’t the only mom who has scuttled a deal.
It’s hard for me to wrap my head around this phenomenon, but I have several theories:
1. It’s cultural. In many cultures, big life decisions often are made by the entire family. Americans tend to be far more individualistic, whereas in other countries families tend to work more as units. Funnily enough, when I told various friends about how our first deal fell through because the mother of the buyer had a bad feeling, I was asked each of the following: “Was she Greek?” “Was she Indian?” “Was she Chinese?” I only list these to show that this is not an uncommon family dynamic.
2. It’s financial. Let’s face it: interest rates are through the roof. Even a family with two good incomes has to stretch to buy a home in a town with great public schools. There’s the one-two punch of the cost of borrowing and the high taxes. Mom attends the showing, because Mom is helping to finance the purchase.
3. It’s helicopter parenting gone crazy. It wasn’t enough that helicopter moms hovered over every decision from kindergarten onwards. Now they are helping to pick out homes for their grown offspring. I really hope I’m wrong about this one. By the way, I haven’t seen or heard of any fathers tagging along – just moms.
In any case, I continue to feel like an unwelcome guest in my own home. We have to keep everything pristine, leave no personal trace – be it tooth brushes or a the tell tale coffee pot, and we have to vacate with two hours warning. We can’t even pack because the house is staged and we have no place to hide the boxes.
On the random chance that you are a mother accompanying your adult child on a house hunting trip this week, please know that we have it on personal good authority that it’s a great house and a wonderful place to raise a family.